Be Cruel, Beloved

Malignancy, I welcome, A cruel tongue so sharp, It cuts painlessly; Or your sinister contempt, Spreading like cancer, Tearing me apart; Give me all of your hatred, Anger and cold rage, A promise of pain. (a promise to feel) I cannot stand your pity: Eyes wet with sadness, Like you regret me. Like you'll forget … Continue reading Be Cruel, Beloved →

Ghosted

Phantom thoughtsPhantom memoriesPlay out to meIn reverieA reminder for meWhat I was meant to beOr how I seem to beBy eyes too keen(or rather too blind to see)that what they perceiveIs a phantom of meIsn't meCan't beBecause I'm gone ghostedinterruptedfuture haltedtrapped on read.

The Coffee Blues

Morning coffee blues,Cold cream in steaming darkness,A pinch to wake me. The barista's weary smile,All business, a pro,Small talk is for the depraved,Or those lonely fools,Who mistake a smile for love,And chase their coffee,With pitiful fantasy.A rhythm so smooth,His exhausted nonchalance,Just goes with the beat. This one's a to-go,For this weary vinyl,Is worn out enough.

Damn all of you

Damn all of you who told me to forget,As though I could somehow throw it away,These fucking memories of a phantom girl,Whose love crippled me and left me mad,Whose softest touch meant more to me,Transmitted through words on a screen,Or through the haze of an old flip-phone,Than every desperate, sticky fumbling,Every pulsing moan and lovely … Continue reading Damn all of you →

Stalking Pray

I'm afraid of touching you,Not that you're fragile,(indeed, you're tougher than I)But you always flee,As though you're afraid of me,"I'm protecting you,"Feels like a hollowed-out phrase,When those words draw blood,Tearing away at my heart,Leaving me to think,"I'm not the prince, after all;Was I the villain?"

Godless Porcupines

I hope there is a God,Because I need something to hate,For giving me the capacity to love,And for recognizingThe feelings you cannot reciprocate. I hope the Devil exists,Because then surely there is hell,For if there is no purpose to my pain,Then it follows,There is no end to end well. So I lie awake every night,Cursing … Continue reading Godless Porcupines →

Alone on January 2, 2012

I took the train out from North York, staring at my phone and the last three messages I sent into the silent, digital maw. I bit back bitter tears, thinking that maybe I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... with the wrong person. Luckily, most wrong places have train stations out.

A Peace that Comes with Rain

Eyes uplifted to distant starry heavens,As rain, like the mercy of an unkind god,Mingles with the naked, innocent tearsOf the ignorant, the pitiful, the unloved,Washes away the pain of living.

The Ruinous Path

So I must hesitate, chest pounding in misery, And consider my next moment, next eternity, Must I keep running along this desolate shore, To chase someone I that feel condemned to adore? If only I could catch up to you, reach out, and - But once again, you withdraw your outstretched hand. Every moment’s pause, … Continue reading The Ruinous Path →

Cutting Ties

It’s an awful life cycle, Love, Strangers meet, like the only two people waking a dark, hollow world. Exulting in companionship, soft laughter does it’s work to tie their bodies closer together in conspiratorial intent, forming a fledgling friendship that shimmers into faint illumination, growing brighter brighter. That friendship which burns so brightly, white-hot in … Continue reading Cutting Ties →